When we are controlled by "outdated" thought patterns, we see the world as we are, and not as it truly is...

Each of us develops our own view of the world and our possibilities within it. We are convinced that we know what is and is not possible...

Often, these views are not our own. We have adopted them from the people around us, from the personal experiences of our parents, teachers, and authority figures. We have believed in them. In fact, we live by them. This is our navigation system – our "autopilot." This "autopilot," which we often don't even pay attention to, guides us through life. It takes us along safe, familiar, and well-trodden paths. It is reliable. However, it does not think, make decisions, or innovate. It sticks to what it knows and what has so far been proven to be functional and reliable.

And that is truly wonderful – it has been proven in practice, and it requires very little effort or energy from us. However, it has two small drawbacks. The autopilot only works reliably when we want to get to a place we have been before. Imagine, for example, the route from work to home. You have walked or driven it hundreds of times. Your mind may be elsewhere, but you still arrive safely at your destination. Often, we don't even remember the route we took. It is only when we hear a colleague's greeting that we realize we are back at work.

Silva is a dynamic person, reliable with a strong sense of duty. She is the mother of two children, a grown son (25 years old) and a daughter in her teens (12 years old). Her husband is an entrepreneur, and she helps him. She takes care of the accounting and, if necessary, goes somewhere to run errands. She loves him. She herself is a co-owner of a real estate agency. She takes care of marketing and sales. She enjoys it. She also has to take care of a large house. They are currently doing necessary repairs. She oversees them. Then there is the garden. Her father's illness is taking a heavy toll on her lately. He is angry at the whole world since her mother suddenly passed away six months ago. And Silva? She can't cope. She is tired, and yet she cannot sleep without medication. Although she is surrounded by people, she is alone in everything. No one helps her... Perhaps... if her mother were still here... Silva is – as you can see – a very capable person, talented, and hardworking. She takes care of everything and everyone. She is truly exceptional in that. And she feels good about it. The only flaw is that she is exhausted...

Silva has many good habits. It could work like this forever, "but" nothing should change. No unexpected event, no change, should occur. But that would not be life. We all have our limits. In such a case, it is up to us to take "control" back into our own hands. It is logical, but honestly, do we do it? More often, we have adopted a different habit. We start to complain: imagine that you are walking down a familiar street, and your mind is preoccupied with what awaits you today. You are having another challenging day. Perhaps you are preoccupied with how to get everything done or how to succeed in a difficult conversation with a colleague or boss. And suddenly! Bang!! You fall to the ground. Yesterday, when you walked this way, the sidewalk was fine. But today? Some of the paving stones are missing. In short, there is a hole. And you? Of course, you are in it. You may have twisted your ankle. You may have just been startled. Most of us start to complain about the mess and the carelessness of others. It is easier to blame others or feel sorry for ourselves than to admit that we were "not present." That we have become accustomed to letting our "autopilot" take care of everything. We have simply stopped perceiving reality. And that reality has changed...

Is that all? No, it simply requires my full attention and creativity. Regardless of what anyone else has or has not done, the fact remains that it is up to me to get out of the hole. To take care of myself, if I do not want to be a victim of the circumstances.

Mom's death and the care for her father added another "backpack" to Silva's load. It's no wonder that under this burden, this nearly fifty-year-old woman is collapsing. She doesn't see it, not yet. She cares for everyone and everything. Who cares for her?

We see the world as we are, not as it is...

When new information reaches us, our brain usually starts behaving like a "cop." It immediately begins to verify it and compare it with our past experiences and conclusions. If the information fits, it suits us, and it is accepted—without proof. We can get excited about it. As soon as it is a thought or information that deviates, we start fighting it. It becomes our enemy and is banished. Often, even the strongest proofs do not help. Our brain usually dislikes unexplainable and unknown things. They disturb it, drain energy and effort. Therefore, it needs time. That is also the reason why some of our habits become outdated. Figuratively speaking, we do not update our "autopilot," and it drives reliably, but according to outdated maps. It is no wonder that we sometimes find ourselves in a dead end and do not know how we got here... We are in a trap.

Silva is a housewife, a cleaner, an entrepreneur, a trader, an assistant in her husband's company, a mother, a gardener, she leads construction supervision during home repairs, she is a caregiver to her father, a lightning rod, an advisor to her husband, a confessor to her daughter, a teacher, a cultural representative for her friends, an organizer of work and non-work parties, events.... She is never alone, really never. Rest? She doesn't even remember when she had a moment for herself. Doing nothing? That is definitely not the case... That is forbidden.

If we rely only on our experiences, on the autopilot, it will simply happen that we stop receiving from life what we want. Silva's strategy, her habits—if she does not decide to update them—lead to burnout, exhaustion. Stronger sleeping pills, more coffee may perhaps delay that moment...

This is a continuation of a previous article: Are you overworked? Change your habits (published 25.7.2025 on gnews.cz)

The article was published with the kind permission of Sféra magazine