Each of us develops our own perspective on the world and our place within it. We are often convinced that we know what is possible and what is not...

Often, these perspectives are not our own. We have adopted them from the people around us, from the personal experiences of our parents, teachers, and authority figures. We have believed in them. In fact, we live by them. This is our internal navigation system – our "autopilot." This "autopilot," which we often don't even consciously acknowledge, guides us through life. It takes us along safe, familiar, and well-trodden paths. It is reliable. However, it does not think, make decisions, or innovate. It simply adheres to what it knows and what has been proven to be functional and reliable.

And that's truly wonderful – it's been proven by experience, and it requires very little effort or energy from us. However, there are two small drawbacks. The autopilot only works reliably when we want to get to a place we've been before. Imagine, for example, the route from work to home. You've walked or driven it hundreds of times. Your mind may be elsewhere, but you still arrive safely at your destination. Often, we don't even remember the route we took. It's only when we hear a colleague's greeting that we realize we're back at work.

Silva is a dynamic and reliable person with a strong sense of responsibility. She is the mother of two children: a grown son (25 years old) and a daughter in her teens (12 years old). Her husband is an entrepreneur, and she helps him with his business, overseeing the accounting and handling errands when needed. She loves him. She is also a co-owner of a real estate agency, where she handles marketing and sales. She enjoys her work. She also has to manage a large house, and they are currently doing necessary repairs, which she oversees. In addition, there is a garden to tend to. Recently, her sick father has been a major source of stress for her. She is angry at the whole world since her mother suddenly passed away six months ago. And Silva? She can't cope. She is exhausted, and yet she can't sleep without medication. Despite being surrounded by people, she is alone in everything. No one helps her... Perhaps... if her mother were still here... Silva is – as you can see – a very capable, talented, and hardworking person. She takes care of everything and everyone. She is truly exceptional in that regard. And she feels good about it. The only flaw is that she is exhausted.

Silva has many good habits. It could work like this forever, "but" nothing should change. No unexpected events, no changes should occur. But that's not how life works. We all have our limits. In such cases, it is up to us to take "control" back into our own hands. It's logical, but honestly, do we do it? More often, we have adopted a different habit. We start to complain: imagine you are walking down a familiar street, and your mind is preoccupied with what awaits you today. You are having another challenging day. Perhaps you are preoccupied with how to get everything done or how to succeed in a difficult conversation with a colleague or your boss. And suddenly! Bang!! You fall to the ground. Yesterday, when you walked this way, the sidewalk was fine. But today? Some of the paving stones are missing. There's a hole. And you? Of course, you're in it. You may have twisted your ankle. Or you may have just been startled. Most of us start to complain about the mess and the carelessness of others. It's easier to blame others or feel sorry for ourselves than to admit that we were "not paying attention." We have become accustomed to letting our "autopilot" take over. We have simply stopped perceiving reality, and reality has changed...

Is that all? No, it simply requires my full attention and creativity. Regardless of what anyone else has or hasn't done, the fact remains that it is up to me to get out of the hole. To take care of myself, if I don't want to be a victim of circumstances.

The death of her mother and the responsibility for her father have added another "burden" to Silva's shoulders. It's no wonder that this almost fifty-year-old woman is struggling. She doesn't see it, yet. She takes care of everyone and everything. Who takes care of her?

We see the world as we are, not as it is...

When new information reaches us, our brain typically acts like a "police officer." It immediately begins to scrutinize it and compare it to our previous experiences and conclusions. If the information fits, it aligns with what we already believe, and it is accepted—without proof. We can become enthusiastic about it. However, if the information deviates from our established beliefs, we begin to fight against it. It becomes our enemy and is rejected. Often, even the strongest evidence is not enough. Our brain generally doesn't like unexplained or unknown things. They unsettle it, consume energy, and require effort. Therefore, it needs time. This is also why some of our habits become outdated. Figuratively speaking, we don't update our "autopilot," and it continues to operate reliably, but according to outdated maps. It's no surprise that we occasionally find ourselves in a dead end and don't know how we got there... We are trapped.

Silva is a housekeeper, a cleaner, an entrepreneur, a salesperson, an assistant at her husband's company, a mother, a gardener, she oversees construction work during house renovations, she is a caregiver to her father, a lightning rod, a counselor to her husband, a confidante to her daughter, and a teacher, a cultural liaison for her friends, an organizer of work and social events... She is never, truly never, alone. Rest? She doesn't even remember when she last had a moment to herself. Doing nothing? Absolutely not... That's forbidden.

If we rely only on our experiences, on our autopilot, we will inevitably find that we are no longer receiving from life what we want. Silva's strategy, her habits—if she doesn't choose to update them—lead to burnout and exhaustion. Stronger sleeping pills, more coffee, might delay that moment...

This is a continuation of a previous article: Are you overworked? Change your habits (published on July 25, 2025, on gnews.cz)

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This article was published with the kind permission of the magazine Sféra.

DIOCHI

casopis-sfera.cz / gnews.cz-HeK